Tonight I am posting because I'm feeling all sorts of things and not sure how to process, so this is one outlet. By now much of the world knows that Osama Bin Laden is dead at the hands of United States forces. Listening to President Obama's speech tonight and watching some of the coverage filled me with emotions I forgot I was capable of feeling. Obama painted the picture of what happened on 9/11, and the memories so vividly came roaring back. On that fateful say in 2001 I was an eighth grader at Edgewood Middle School. I want to say I was wearing an orange t-shirt though I'm not quite positive, but I am sure I was wearing shorts. I think I first heard whispers of something happening as I traveled the school hallways, but I specifically remember being in an art class when it was confirmed what was happening. First one tower, then two, then the pentagon, then Pennsylvania, the details kept trickling out. It wasn't until homeroom that my teacher turned the TV on and many of my classmates and I saw for the first time the images of black smoke billowing out of the World Trade Center. I think I felt so many different things, but fear overall, when seeing those images that I didn't know how to process them, so I was quiet. I don't remember the rest of that day until the end. Some off hand comment was made by someone passing in the hallway, and I remember having a profound realization at the age of 13 years old; the United States was at war. At this time the terms "terrorism", "Osama Bin Laden", "Al Qaeda", and "middle-East" were unknown to me, and Al Qaeda had not even taken responsibility yet, but I remember the screaming sense of fear that I was in a generation heading to war, and that my life may be dramatically changing.
In the days following I remember being so terrified and so sad that I just wanted regular TV back. I wanted regular life back. Eventually it got to the point that I couldn't even look at the images of the Towers burning without tearing up, and so I stopped looking. But I also remember the feelings of inspiration and pride of how our nation, especially the citizens, police, and firefighters in New York, came together to present such a feeling of national unity. As a frightened boy, I think these feelings and images helped me to take a step back, breathe, and realize that somehow, one day, we would be ok.
Tonight, I felt many of these same feelings again. To this day it is difficult for me to look at images of the towers burning and collapsing, but I don't tear up like I used to. Obama's speech brought me back to my homeroom where I first was able to truly grasp what was happening. And then it brought me the hope and pride I felt when I saw the stories of national unity. I do find it a bit interesting that the entire country is celebrating death, but I think that's a whole case study on its own. What I do know is that when CNN broadcasting citizens in Washington D.C. tonight running to the north gate of the White House, and standing and joyously singing the Star Spangled Banner, I don't know that I've ever been so proud to be an American. After everything our country has gone through in the last ten years, and the insane happenings in politics in the past few years, I didn't know if I would ever have that feeling again. I only hope that these positive feelings can inject a bit of sanity back into American politics. Even if not, I am incredibly satisified and happy here now in this moment, in this time. I remember where I was when I first hear that Osama Bin Laden was responsible for 9/11. Now I'll always remember where I was when I heard he had been brought to justice. God bless the United States of America.
PS, I was going to type other updates on my life here as well, but as this post is already long, I'll save that for another.
